being brave

Have you ever watched someone do something hard or challenging and wished you were that brave? You watched that person do the exact thing you were most scared of, and you couldn't help but be envious? I have. 

Hello my name is Karen, and I am an avoider of conflict. 

I am a tie between a 7 and 9 on the Enneagram, and this is the 9 in me for sure: "Out of fear of creating conflicts with these people, average Nines hold back their own reactions and opinions and suppress themselves in many other ways. Oddly, Nines can be quite assertive on behalf of others and will work hard for others' benefit, but they can have great difficulty taking actions on their own behalf, or even voicing their own real feelings.”

So if I see someone stand up for herself, be brave, say the hard things, I am so envious . 

I was drawn to Rachel Hollis’s book Girl Wash Your Face. Go read it ladies. It’s amazing. She talks about the lies we tell ourselves and how we live in them. I read it back in April. 

One lie that I have lived is that I’m not strong enough. I am not brave. When I was reading—actually listening on Audible—tears welled up in my eyes. At one point in the book Rachel has us stop and write a list of all we have accomplished in our lives. Then the next page she has us write ourselves a letter—a letter of tenacity. 

It felt awkward writing myself  a letter telling myself how great I am, especially when I felt the opposite. I started with the list of accomplishments . When I was done I was able to look at it and say, “Whoa, I have done a lot in my life!” Yes, I did only graduate high school by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin. Yes, I was diagnosed with ADD and took prescription drugs to try and control it. Yes, I never finished college . BUT then I saw what I have done, and suddenly I felt better. I have been a group fitness teacher, a snowboard instructor and now am a 200hr. registered yoga teacher.

Then I wrote the letter. "Dear Karen" I told myself to stop looking at what I haven't done, stop looking at the things about my body I can't change or don't like. I reminded myself that I have lived life. That I swim in the ocean , snowboard , hike with my kids. I do the fun things. I wrote to myself to stop using the label ADD . I wrote down my dreams and told myself to slow down, they will happen, to work hard but not too hard that I loose sight of the joys in my life. I told myself to be brave. To have the talks, to stop avoiding conflict. I told myself I was worth it.  Suddenly I felt chains break. I was letting insecurity come to the surface and allowing a wound to begin to heal. I can say now that that exercise changed my life. So buy the book, write the list and letter! Do it! It feels awkward to write a letter to yourself like this. You feel like you are bragging or not being humble, but thats not true. Write the letter, there I said it twice. 

Fast forward to last weekend. Rachel had a two-night-only documentary movie in the theaters. I went to see it. I was feeling tired and empty. I was letting those lies, those chains make their way back home with me. Then in her movie she talked about the letter. I left the movie theater feeling excited and empowered . The next morning I got up early and opened my journal. I kid you not, when I opened my journal, it literally fell open to the page of THE LETTER. Accident? I don't think so. I reread it and wept. I told myself, “It’s time to be brave.” 

Do you struggle with being brave? Bravery is a hard one. When I looked over my life list I thought, "How am I so timid, when I have done so many things?!” I have done 2 triathlons and lived on 3 different continents. I ran off to Vegas and married my husband after only knowing him three weeks. These were courageous things! But when I allowed myself to really look into my heart, I saw the truth. I saw that I am afraid of hurting other people. I’m afraid of being abandoned, afraid of not being good enough. 

This is where I am so grateful yoga found me a few years ago. Yoga is mind and body. What we say in our heads to ourselves manifests itself in our bodies. (That is a whole other blog post.) When we let go of what we are holding onto—fear!—and let in what we need—bravery!—we can really heal and live our best lives. 

I have come up with my favorite yoga poses for being brave. Lets start with 

Warrior 1

*Fom mountain pose, steep back into a short stance and align your heels. Bend your front knee , stacking it over your ankle. Straighten your back leg, turning your toes slightly forward. Square your hips and shoulders with the from of your mat. Raise your arms to the sky.

Strengthens: Quads, Hamstrings, Upper back, Shoulders
Stretches : Hip Flexors, Hip Adductors, Calves


Warrior 2

*From warrior 1, keep your heals aligned as you ope  your hips and shoulders the long edge of your mat. Lower your arms parallel to the floor, reaching out in opposite directions through your fingers. Keep your front knee bent and hips level. Look over your front hand.

Strengthens : Quads, Hamstrings, Hip Abductors , Shoulders

Stretches : Hip Adductors , Hip Flexors 

Reverse Warrior

From Warrior 2, keep your front knee bent and lift your forward arm toward the sky. Turn your palm toward the back of your mat. Rest your back hand lightly on your back leg. Use core strength to support a gentle side bend.

Strengthens: Quads, Hamstrings, Lower Back, Upper Back, Abs, Shoulders

Stretches: Hip Flexors , Hip Adductors , Obliques

Warrior poses are meant for building heat in the body, for creating strength . They are challenging and  take control and deep breathing. But remember you are strong and brave. These poses can help you deal with stress.

For me when I inhale I like to say: Jesus, amidst it all

then I exhale and say: make me bold and courageous.

I hope this helps you on your journey ! Below is a video of a quick series putting theses poses together. 

*Beth Shaw's YOGAFIt , by Beth Shaw copyright 2009