Move

My family is in a season of a bit of unknown right now. A dear family member is very sick and it is really hard. On top of that we are experiencing a winter we have not had for years. A lot of rain and a lot of gloomy and cold . I watch my husband and I am just amazed how he just handles it. As a woman I just want to crawl in my bed and just turn on the tv and zone out. I start to dwell on things of the past rather than moving forward. I let my negative thoughts take captive. Our schedule has been a bit different and I have found that what I am used to doing for exercise, I can not  do. Being a fitness instructor for almost 13 years , it is so hard to type this. I should know better, I should just motivate myself. But sometimes doing for ourselves what we do for others can be a hard task. Why is that? Yesterday I could tell I was getting into a funk and I knew I had to do something to get out quick. 

I called my Yoga friend, I took a deep breath. I knew she wouldn't judge me, but I also knew she would tell me what I needed to hear. She said " Karen , you need to move your body. You need to start in the early morning with your quiet time, quiet your mind, listen and receive. Then get moving. Even if it rains, find a way. You have to make it happen. You have the tools, just do it." 

Today, plans changed my morning " routine " was interrupted. I had to fight the urge to not put on workout clothes. I had to fight the urge  to just come back home from taking my kids to school late and just stay in my pajamas. Why is that ? I took a few deeps breaths and pictured myself after a run, after quiet time spent outside, how  great it always make me feel. Then proceeded to get dressed. 

And guess what? Did I have the best run of my life? No, in fact it was probably the worst. But the sun was shinning and I was moving. As I was moving , I let go of those negative thoughts, I prayed . I prayed about the unknowns. I prayed for strength. I prayed for perspective. I visualized a heavy chain leaving my body. 

This morning, in this unknown we are living in ,my children got to sit at the breakfast table with their 98 year old great grandfather They got to hear stories they have never heard. If our so called "routine " had happened , they would have never had that precious time with him. I still made time for exercise and quiet time. I feel so selfish even worrying about it, worrying I will not be able to get out of my funk.

Life is complicated and not normal. I write this today to hopefully encourage someone because I get it. May you slow down and find the beauty in the unexpected and unknown. When your normal becomes shaken, may you make time for you. Slow down, let the negatives thoughts out. And move your body.

Also I watched the a great documentary on netflix called Heal, watch it!